woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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