I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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