***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
