I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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