we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
