I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
