Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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