I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
