So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
