You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Drake has all the answers
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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