Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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