I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
