check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
