Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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