I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
