margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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