saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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