Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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