i just had sex bonerless
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
