so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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