Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
