This girl is more easily done than said...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
