so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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