I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
