Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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