There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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