I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
