we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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