I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
