I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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