garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
