I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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