my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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