I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
