My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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