so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
