I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
