just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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