my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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