chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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