i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
