it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
