making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
