He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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