Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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