You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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