I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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