let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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