What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
