We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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