This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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