it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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