I just threw up on my dentist
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so let's talk penis.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
