So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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