Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
