so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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